


A Two-Sided Coin

by misura



Category: NCIS, White Collar
Genre: Community: xover_exchange, Episode Remix, Episode: s01e05 Flip of the Coin, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-24
Updated: 2011-11-24
Packaged: 2017-11-05 15:44:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/408164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Burke looked at Gibbs and Gibbs looked back with that faint smile of his he only showed when he knew you were getting something right, and Tony wanted to bang on the table and demand what was going on.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Two-Sided Coin

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: _collaborating on a project/job/case/mission_

"When I was young, I wanted to be Indiana Jones," Tony told Ziva, who replied with a blank stare that - well, clearly _someone_ had to come and rescue the woman from completely missing out on all the treasures of America's rich film culture. "Archaeologist? Faced off against the Nazis? Quite ably portrayed by Harrison Ford, except for in that last movie, which, honestly, kind of sucked anyway, so."

McGee looked slightly annoyed. "I think she knows, Tony." His mistake, clearly.

"I think," Ziva said, "she can speak for herself. As it happens, I _do_ know Mr. Jones." Tony winced. "Parts of his movies are used for ... educational purposes by the Mossad."

... Seriously? "Seriously?" It had to be a joke. Girl needed to work on her sense of humor.

"Oh, I never kid about training videos," Ziva said. "How Not to Use A Whip, Part Two. What Not to Do in a Hostage Situation, Lesson One. How Not to Proceed When Entering A - "

Respect, that was the problem. People nowadays had no respect for the beauty of movies. Who cared if it wasn't actually possible to use a whip by way of a grappling hook and rope in one, as long as it looked cool when good old Indie did it?

"I merely wondered at the connection between Mr. Jones and Captain Mitchell," Ziva finished.

Tony grinned. "Ancient treasures," he said.

McGee frowned. "Tony, I really don't think we're going to have to make our way through the Temple of Doom on this case or something like that. They were in a _museum_."

"A man can hope," Tony said.

 

It wasn't entirely clear to Tony what the FBI's White Collar unit had to do with the case of a marine accused of having stolen gold artifacts while on duty in Iraq. Gibbs hadn't said much on the fact, other than that it _was_ a fact, and that any FBI guy who thought Gibbs was going to be his flunkie had another thing coming. (Well, Gibbs hadn't said that last one in so many words, but Tony was a good listener. He paid attention, was what he did.)

Guy in charge was one Peter Burke, who looked like the last time he'd gone shopping for a new suit had been in the sixties - except that he didn't look that cool, so maybe it'd been the seventies. Still, he and Gibbs seemed to hit it off well enough - wasn't going to last, probably, but oh well.

"Jones will show you where to put your stuff," Burke said, and for a moment, Tony wondered if maybe he'd been thinking about this whole Tony DiNozzo and the Temple of Doom thing a bit too much, but no, there actually was someone named Jones. First name Clinton, a firm handshake and a face that plainly stated how happy he was that they were here (not very).

There was also a lovely female assist- _agent_ by the name of Lauren Cruz, who looked friendly enough until the moment Tony complimented her clothes, at which point she turned chilly.

And then there was Neal Caffrey, convicted criminal, charming con man, crook and, according to Burke, consultant. 

Whatever that meant.

 

"Tony, right?"

What it meant, apparently, was that he had all the rights of an FBI agent, and hardly any of the duties. Tony sincerely hoped the FBI didn't pay him more in a week than Tony made in a month, but since this was the FBI, he wouldn't bet any money on it. "That's right."

Caffrey smiled. He looked like he was in a movie. "Peter thought we might go over these files, see if anything stands out." 

"Sounds fun," Tony said.

Caffrey grinned. It was a nice, open grin - _'come into my parlor', said the spider to the fly._

 

Abby called to complain about the prints they'd sent her being too clear, which Tony hadn't thought would be any kind of problem, and also all from the same hand, which he figured _might_ be a problem, except then they all went over the evidence again, and Burke looked at Gibbs and Gibbs looked back with that faint smile of his he only showed when he knew you were getting something right, and Tony wanted to bang on the table and demand what was going on.

Gibbs and Burke left without a word. Tony sighed and sat down - there were chairs, and he'd _seen_ the finger prints, all right? All of them. Twice.

"Guy sure touched a lot of the stuff, huh?" McGee said, pretending he was still going over things. "I mean, you'd think he'd have used gloves at least some of the time."

"Wasn't him," Caffrey said, glancing at Tony before he grabbed a chair and sat down, too. "According to his wife, that is."

"You know Captain Mitchell's wife, Mr. Caffrey?" Ziva asked in a kind of voice that made Tony want to lean back and grab a bag of popcorn or something. Woman knew how to question a suspect, or a slightly suspicious stander-by, as the case might be.

Caffrey seemed disappointingly unaffected. "Not me - but Peter does. She's an old friend of Elizabeth - Peter's wife." Which explained what the FBI was doing, getting mixed up in this case.

"Wives and family are always the last to know if someone's guilty, aren't they?" McGee said.

Caffrey didn't like that question, Tony could tell. "Yeah, well, we're not here because of his _wife_ , are we, probie? We're here because _Gibbs_ thinks he might be innocent."

"Dead sure of it, in fact," Ziva said, staring at the artifacts on the table and frowning.

His turn to pick up the conversational ball. "But why? That's the question."

"Prints are all from the left hand," Ziva said, as if anyone could have missed that. "The _left_ hand, Tony. Is our captain a one-handed man? Does he not know how to use his right hand?"

She had a point. A good point, even. "Maybe he lost one of his gloves?" McGee suggested.

Caffrey snorted. Tony grinned.

 

" - a bottle or a glass, something like that," Abby said over the speakerphone.

It was nine in the morning, and Tony needed at least two more cups of coffee before he might begin to feel like he was awake. Three would be better.

Burke looked like he was trying not to look harassed. Cruz looked attractive and like she'd cheerfully shoot him if he dared comment on it. Ziva looked like she found that amusing.

Caffrey looked impeccable, classy and entirely too awake. Tony decided the FBI was definitely paying him entirely too much, given the suit he was wearing.

Gibbs smiled. "Way ahead of you, Abs." If they were, it was news to Tony.

Then again, Gibbs wouldn't lie to Abby, so, apparently, they'd concluded that Captain Mitchell's finger prints had been lifted from a bottle or glass, indicating he'd had drinks with whomever had framed, indicating -

"Alisha Teagen," Burke said. "She's a journalist."

"World Wide News, right? 'Your news, when you want it'? Which is kind of a silly slogan, when you think about it, really, because what they do is just - " Gibbs gave him a look. Tony shut up. "I watch her show sometimes, boss. Big fan." Well, not really, but she was pretty good-looking, and Tony would sort of like to get out of the office for a while.

"Then I guess we won't be sending you to interview her," Gibbs said, like he didn't know exactly what Tony'd meant. "Needs to be objective, DiNozzo."

"I could tag along," Caffrey offered, looking at Burke.

Burke looked at Tony, then at Gibbs, who shrugged. "I'm not sure if that's such a good idea, Neal."

"Hey, two studs like us - what woman's going to be able to resist?" Tony said.

Burke frowned at Caffrey, who grinned - less nice and open this time, more smug and smugger, really.

Ziva and Cruz were trading near-identical looks. Maybe they could get together later and start a club or something like that.

 

It took Caffrey all of five minutes to get them into the WWN offices, and then he was going around introducing himself to people as the new sports anchor, which nobody should tell Leonard about, who was apparently the current sports anchor, and Tony watched him go and thought: _'oh'_.

Everyone who heard stories about con men always told themselves it wouldn't happen to them, because they'd be more cautious, less naive than whomever got conned. Few people, when the moment came, actually did so.

Tony thought he was looking at the reason why.

And then he went and snuck inside Alisha Teagen's office and needed a full two minutes to figure out there was a secret drawer - locked, of course - and that he sort of was the wrong person for this part of the job.

 

Caffrey had the grace not to comment on the whole thing, after.

"Well, at least it looks like Captain Mitchell's definitely off the hook." That should cheer up everyone back at the office, Tony figured, especially Burke, who according to Caffrey was experiencing a certain lack of domestic peace due to Dana Mitchell being a house guest.

"Looks like it." Caffrey smiled. "Still, it would be nice to get someone back on it. If only for framing an innocent man."

Tony supposed there _was_ a difference between framing an innocent man and getting him to give you nearly all of his money by lying to him. "That's going to be tricky." The problem was, of course, that Caffrey appeared like a nice guy, much like Alisha Teagen appeared like a - well, no, not _nice_ , exactly.

She looked the part, yes, but Caffrey was the whole package. He walked into a room, and people looked at him. Tony wasn't sure if they all thought about sex - some people appreciated beauty for beauty's sake, and some people, presumably, wouldn't be bisexual or straight, as the case might be.

"Peter and I came up with that idea about the finger prints when we were having a drink with Gibbs after work," Caffrey said. "I've got a nice bottle of wine back at my place we could share. Who knows, we might come up with something."

 

Caffrey's house pretty much confirmed everything Tony'd feared about his payrate; it was huge, it was expensive and it came with a live-in -

"June's my landlady," Caffrey said, smiling at June in a way he hadn't come even close to when smiling at the lovely Miss Teagen earlier that day.

"Anthony DiNozzo, nice to meet you." All right, so the house wasn't Caffrey's. It was still huge and expensive, and it was still the place where he lived.

There was an empty bottle of Bordeaux on the table in Caffrey's apartment, and a few less impressive wines standing in a corner. There were also lots of books, and maps, and a few items Tony thought it might be best not to ask about. Not his job to tell the FBI how to do theirs, after all.

Caffrey poured himself a glass of wine, then poured one for Tony. "So," he said, as if he wasn't quite sure what they were doing here, what _Tony_ was doing here, aside from making a mistake. "What do you think?"

Tony thought that Caffrey was a con man. "I think you're pretty good at making people believe what you want them to believe." Then again, Tony didn't exactly believe Caffrey wanted to get hitched or something. (Hey, they were in New York; in theory, it was possible.)

Caffrey shrugged. The top buttons of his shirt were undone, and his hair looked like he'd spent an hour or two in front of a mirror to get it just the right kind of mussy. "That's not a crime."

"Stealing is," Tony said. "Forgery is. Conning people out of their money is." Not according to the law, not always (see: Starbucks), which was presumably why the FBI had a special unit to deal with people like Caffrey.

Caffrey sipped his wine. "Would it matter if I said I never conned anyone who didn't deserve it?"

Tony managed not to laugh. For all he knew, it might be true. "No." From Caffrey's point of view, probably everyone who could get conned, deserved it.

"Would it matter if I said I was sorry?"

"No."

The wine was decent. Not great, but decent.

"Are you going back to your hotel in another few minutes?" Caffrey asked. He wasn't drunk, not by a long shot; they'd both only had one glass - two, tops, and yet he looked more at ease, more relaxed than Tony'd so far seen him at the office. He wondered if it was Burke, if maybe the man was exactly as happy as you'd expect him to be with getting someone like Caffrey dumped on him.

Good-looking, yes - too much so, perhaps. Charming, when he put his mind to it. Smart, sexy and pretty much completely off-limits to every self-respecting person involved in law-enforcement.

"No."


End file.
